Is this one of those aspects of city life I am just going to have to adjust to? At least I'll have somewhere to store my bike.
_ _ _
Saturday, October 31, 2009
I'd settle for a modern laundry room
Back to looking for apartments in St. Paul. I happened across one that seems to offer a...unique service.
Is this one of those aspects of city life I am just going to have to adjust to? At least I'll have somewhere to store my bike.
_ _ _
Is this one of those aspects of city life I am just going to have to adjust to? At least I'll have somewhere to store my bike.
_ _ _
Friday, October 30, 2009
Just once....
Not every time, but once, I would like to listen to a baseball game on AM radio and not hear the thing where the local station goes to an ad break, and plays commercials over the ESPN update. Really, just once I would like to hear this happen.
"And after five innings, we're tied 3-3. Back after this."
"Did you know that since 1954, Grundlemeyer Seed and Compost has been putting..."
"....Coach Jim Zorn in the hot seat, after remarks that the teams cheerleading squad should..."
"....buy nine tacos and get the tenth taco for just...."
"....145 million dollars over seven years. Yankees management say the corpse of Don Drysdale should..."
".....bring charm and class to your bathroom for a reasonable price. And don't worry if..."
"...Mark Prior's arm is now reportedly hanging from the elbow by a single ligament following a botched surgery by...."
"...a new, full sized corn thresher, which can be yours for just..."
"....batteries, hot dogs and several pounds of fish. Phillies left fielder Raul Ibanez said Yankees fans also threw..."
"...valuable coupons for Liquor Mart. That's right, erase the crippling worries of today's troubled economy when you are..."
"...named Major League Baseball's Man of the Year, thanks to...."
"....more than thirty years of experience hunting and killing rodents. Let our family of trained weasels..."
"...build a brand new retractable-roof stadium, to replace last year's stadium, or they would move the team to..."
"....the darkest, most haunted corners of your soul. Come to First Presbelutheran Church and hear the true word of God and his plan for...."
"....Alex Rodriguez being a great big pussy. Rodriguez responded by..."
"...replacing your worn out brake pads just in time for winter. And now..."
"...back to the game..."
Actually on second thought, I hope that keeps happening.
_ _ _
"And after five innings, we're tied 3-3. Back after this."
"Did you know that since 1954, Grundlemeyer Seed and Compost has been putting..."
"....Coach Jim Zorn in the hot seat, after remarks that the teams cheerleading squad should..."
"....buy nine tacos and get the tenth taco for just...."
"....145 million dollars over seven years. Yankees management say the corpse of Don Drysdale should..."
".....bring charm and class to your bathroom for a reasonable price. And don't worry if..."
"...Mark Prior's arm is now reportedly hanging from the elbow by a single ligament following a botched surgery by...."
"...a new, full sized corn thresher, which can be yours for just..."
"....batteries, hot dogs and several pounds of fish. Phillies left fielder Raul Ibanez said Yankees fans also threw..."
"...valuable coupons for Liquor Mart. That's right, erase the crippling worries of today's troubled economy when you are..."
"...named Major League Baseball's Man of the Year, thanks to...."
"....more than thirty years of experience hunting and killing rodents. Let our family of trained weasels..."
"...build a brand new retractable-roof stadium, to replace last year's stadium, or they would move the team to..."
"....the darkest, most haunted corners of your soul. Come to First Presbelutheran Church and hear the true word of God and his plan for...."
"....Alex Rodriguez being a great big pussy. Rodriguez responded by..."
"...replacing your worn out brake pads just in time for winter. And now..."
"...back to the game..."
Actually on second thought, I hope that keeps happening.
_ _ _
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Now I remember why I hate watching post-season baseball on FOX
While interviewing the Phillies pitching coach, one of the announcers described Game 2 starter Pedro Martinez as a "legitimate guy". So I guess it's good to know there won't be a cardboard cutout on the mound for the Phils tomorrow.
Also, Cliff Lee was described as having a "face dripping with confidence".
Whenever I read about a World Series played in the 50's or so, the games are always described as having been played on a "crisp Autumn day". I long to see a World Series game played in "crisp" weather. I can't remember the last time I saw an East coast game that wasn't dark, cold and rainy. I guess that's what happens when you have a World Series that now wraps up after November elections.
On the plus side, Cliff Lee's insanely nonchalant catch might have been the funniest thing I have ever seen in a baseball game.
_ _ _
Also, Cliff Lee was described as having a "face dripping with confidence".
Whenever I read about a World Series played in the 50's or so, the games are always described as having been played on a "crisp Autumn day". I long to see a World Series game played in "crisp" weather. I can't remember the last time I saw an East coast game that wasn't dark, cold and rainy. I guess that's what happens when you have a World Series that now wraps up after November elections.
On the plus side, Cliff Lee's insanely nonchalant catch might have been the funniest thing I have ever seen in a baseball game.
_ _ _
The problem with being me
Do you have one of Those Guys at work? You know That Guy? He casually drops an n-bomb into conversation about what's on the radio, or tells President Obama jokes that make you squirm just a bit too much.
Well, I'm not one of those guys. I swear! I have come to the conclusion that I am far too unfocused and thick to be one of those guys. I don't think I've ever said anything truly racist/sexist/malicious, but my myopic inability to read a room leads to my share of awkward moments. Long, drawn out, train crash like awkward moments.
For example, there's a a few Nepalese guys I work with, who are also studying at SCSU. Being me, these are the kinds of conversations I will have.
Me: So, Nepal, huh?
Perfectly nice Nepalese guy who is probably studying to be an engineer or pilot or something: Yep.
Me: So uh, if I needed to climb a mountain you could help me with that?
PFNGWIPSTBAEOPOS: Uh, sure....
Me: But if I wanted to keep a royal family alive, I would probably want to go elsewhere, huh?
PFNGWIPSTBAEOPOS: What?
Me: (covering face with hands) I don't know! I was just trying to talk about things I thought you would be interested in!
Fortunately, when you're big and goofy looking, people tend to be forgiving. In that sense, as far as being That Guy at work, I'm pretty much Kevin from The Office.
_ _ _
Well, I'm not one of those guys. I swear! I have come to the conclusion that I am far too unfocused and thick to be one of those guys. I don't think I've ever said anything truly racist/sexist/malicious, but my myopic inability to read a room leads to my share of awkward moments. Long, drawn out, train crash like awkward moments.
For example, there's a a few Nepalese guys I work with, who are also studying at SCSU. Being me, these are the kinds of conversations I will have.
Me: So, Nepal, huh?
Perfectly nice Nepalese guy who is probably studying to be an engineer or pilot or something: Yep.
Me: So uh, if I needed to climb a mountain you could help me with that?
PFNGWIPSTBAEOPOS: Uh, sure....
Me: But if I wanted to keep a royal family alive, I would probably want to go elsewhere, huh?
PFNGWIPSTBAEOPOS: What?
Me: (covering face with hands) I don't know! I was just trying to talk about things I thought you would be interested in!
Fortunately, when you're big and goofy looking, people tend to be forgiving. In that sense, as far as being That Guy at work, I'm pretty much Kevin from The Office.
_ _ _
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
OK, quick rider to completely undermine the point of my whining in the previous post.
The year is 1986. I'm in the second grade at Lone Tree Elementary at Beale Air Force Base in California. We had a guest speaker that day, who told us all about goals in life. Specifically realistic and unrealistic goals.
At the end, she went around the room and had us all say what we wanted to be when we grew up. So, this being mere a classroom on a military base, mere months after Top Gun came out, you can guess what pretty much every single boy in the class said. As she went around the room, one kid after another cheerfully replied "F-14 fighter pilot!" to which she would smile, nod and say "OK" before going on to the next kid. But when it got to me I stood up and excitedly said "Major league baseball player!"
Without even missing a beat she calmly said "That's an unrealistic goal." and went on to the next kid.
So there. That's the reason I never made it to the major leagues. Not the fact that the last time I played baseball was when I was 12 and even then my primary method of getting on base was sticking my head in the strike zone. (Though that may explain some other things.)
In any case, suitably chastised, the next time we did such an exercise I lamely replied "marine biologist" or something because that's what the girl ahead of me said. I had learned my lesson. Dreaming is only for fools.
(Also, at any given point in the baseball season there are 750 players on major league rosters. How many F-14 pilots are there? Seriously, do you know? Because I bet it's less than that. The evil wench.)
_ _ _
The year is 1986. I'm in the second grade at Lone Tree Elementary at Beale Air Force Base in California. We had a guest speaker that day, who told us all about goals in life. Specifically realistic and unrealistic goals.
At the end, she went around the room and had us all say what we wanted to be when we grew up. So, this being mere a classroom on a military base, mere months after Top Gun came out, you can guess what pretty much every single boy in the class said. As she went around the room, one kid after another cheerfully replied "F-14 fighter pilot!" to which she would smile, nod and say "OK" before going on to the next kid. But when it got to me I stood up and excitedly said "Major league baseball player!"
Without even missing a beat she calmly said "That's an unrealistic goal." and went on to the next kid.
So there. That's the reason I never made it to the major leagues. Not the fact that the last time I played baseball was when I was 12 and even then my primary method of getting on base was sticking my head in the strike zone. (Though that may explain some other things.)
In any case, suitably chastised, the next time we did such an exercise I lamely replied "marine biologist" or something because that's what the girl ahead of me said. I had learned my lesson. Dreaming is only for fools.
(Also, at any given point in the baseball season there are 750 players on major league rosters. How many F-14 pilots are there? Seriously, do you know? Because I bet it's less than that. The evil wench.)
_ _ _
Monday, October 26, 2009
All your dreams will come true with COTTON
One of the advantages of not having cable (and never having bothered to get one of those converter boxes) is that I watch the few shows I care about online, without much commercial interruption. One of the disadvantages is that if the sponsor of said show is particularly irritating than the few commercial breaks can be just as tiresome.
Such is the case with The Office, which is frequently sponsored by Cotton, and their "Fabric of Our Lives" campaign. In one particular spot, a singer by the name of Jazmine Sullivan warbles a song which starts off about dreams and I guess ties into cotton eventually. I'm not sure, I usually zone out and do a quick Sporcle quiz during the breaks. In any case, it begins like so:
They said it was only a dream/
That dreaming was only for fools
OK, stop right there. Who? Who says that? In the 21st century what authority figures are still saying you shouldn't follow your dreams? I thought the whole problem with The Kids Today was that they have been gradually infused with super-self-esteem, and have come to believe that they are inordinately special and infallible. This isn't 1905 anymore. We don't see this scenario played out.
Child: Mother, father, I yearn to someday be a professional singer and have a song that peaks at 31 on the Billboard Hot 100.
Father: No. Your career options are coal mine and dying of consumption. Now, go clean the wheat field or whatever it is we do in 1905.
Also, is cotton the only natural resource that has it's own ad campaign? Like, I've never seen "Bauxite: There Must Be Something This Is Used For" or "Oil: Let's Just See You Try And Live Without It, Bitches".
_ _ _
Such is the case with The Office, which is frequently sponsored by Cotton, and their "Fabric of Our Lives" campaign. In one particular spot, a singer by the name of Jazmine Sullivan warbles a song which starts off about dreams and I guess ties into cotton eventually. I'm not sure, I usually zone out and do a quick Sporcle quiz during the breaks. In any case, it begins like so:
They said it was only a dream/
That dreaming was only for fools
OK, stop right there. Who? Who says that? In the 21st century what authority figures are still saying you shouldn't follow your dreams? I thought the whole problem with The Kids Today was that they have been gradually infused with super-self-esteem, and have come to believe that they are inordinately special and infallible. This isn't 1905 anymore. We don't see this scenario played out.
Child: Mother, father, I yearn to someday be a professional singer and have a song that peaks at 31 on the Billboard Hot 100.
Father: No. Your career options are coal mine and dying of consumption. Now, go clean the wheat field or whatever it is we do in 1905.
Also, is cotton the only natural resource that has it's own ad campaign? Like, I've never seen "Bauxite: There Must Be Something This Is Used For" or "Oil: Let's Just See You Try And Live Without It, Bitches".
_ _ _
Saturday, October 24, 2009
The Pros and Cons of Being Tall
Pro- You can easily retrieve items from most tall shelves.
Con- Once you have demonstrated that ability, short people will assume you can do anything. A co-worker once asked me if I could pull down a box that was on a shelf about 6 feet above my head. I politely informed her I was tall, not Inspector Gadget.
_ _ _
Con- Once you have demonstrated that ability, short people will assume you can do anything. A co-worker once asked me if I could pull down a box that was on a shelf about 6 feet above my head. I politely informed her I was tall, not Inspector Gadget.
_ _ _
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Zombieland
Saw Zombieland this week. I don't think I've read a negative review of the movie yet, and seemingly everyone in my age bracket is in love with it. I actually wasn't that impressed. Here's a quick rundown why-
It was short- 82 minutes, not even half an hour! Even at matinee prices I demand at least two hours from my movies. Otherwise, what's the point of getting vested in it?
Jesse Eisenberg- I'm sure everyone else has pointed this out, but it's really hard to watch this guy and not notice how bad he's trying to be Michael Cera. Like, they got Woody Harrelson and Bill Murray (um, retroactive spoiler alert) they couldn't afford Michael Cera? And when exactly did "not able to afford Michael Cera" become a thing anyway? I kind of assumed he would spend the rest of his career working for slices of pie on indie rom-coms. But speaking of Bill Murray....
Bill Murray- Yeah, the cameo was funny, but I think I would have liked it a whole lot better if the tough female lead hadn't suddenly gushed about how he had a "direct line to
Lack of zombie killing- It was my understanding that this movie was not just the ultimate zombie killing movie, but that it was wholly predicated on that action. No message on the evils of consumerism or science run amok or any of that shit. I thought this was supposed to be the ultimate movie about killing zombies. And the gory opening minutes seemed to bear that out. But then....very long stretches of time in which no zombies were even seen, much less killed. They found time to extensively trash a Native American gift shop though, which is not exactly what I paid to see.
Trailer for 2012- I broke my own rule, and came in during the middle of this trailer, so I'm not sure what the hell this was supposed to be about. They've made CGI movies about all the "good" natural disasters so now they're just saying "Screw it, the Earth is falling apart, or some shit"?
In summary, I give this movie two out of three disappointments.
_ _ _
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Corollary to the previous post: I am seriously worried about the prospect of the Angels storming back, winning the ALCS and going on to win the World Series. I can barely stand to imagine the tidal wave of schmaltzy, feel good stories that our nations laziest sports writers and commentators have surely been saving up. "An angel was watching over the Angels!" "Everything all better, all wounds healed as Angels win World Series."
Oh God, does Jeanne Zeleasko still work for FOX Sports? I can only imagine what she would cook up during the on field post game interviews. "And as we go back to you guys in the booth, that's not rain falling on the field, it's Nick Adenhart crying tears of joy on his teammates below!"*
I can now think of only three good, viable outcomes for this whole affair.
1. The Yankees win the ALCS, and are swept in the World Series by the Phillies or Dodgers.
2. The Angels come back, beat the Yankees, then win the World Series which would be awesome both for them and Nick Adenhart's family. The media doesn't make a big, fat, hairy deal out of it, and lets the viewer recognize the weight and meaning behind the victory for ourselves because they respect our intelligence.
3. I am suddenly revealed to be the one true heir to all the thrones of Europe, inherit 100 billion dollars and never have to worry about things like baseball ever again.
At this point, I am pretty sure 3 is looking like the most possible of these options.
* I swear to God, she would actually say that shit. And if you've heard her before you know I'm not even exaggerating.
_ _ _
Oh God, does Jeanne Zeleasko still work for FOX Sports? I can only imagine what she would cook up during the on field post game interviews. "And as we go back to you guys in the booth, that's not rain falling on the field, it's Nick Adenhart crying tears of joy on his teammates below!"*
I can now think of only three good, viable outcomes for this whole affair.
1. The Yankees win the ALCS, and are swept in the World Series by the Phillies or Dodgers.
2. The Angels come back, beat the Yankees, then win the World Series which would be awesome both for them and Nick Adenhart's family. The media doesn't make a big, fat, hairy deal out of it, and lets the viewer recognize the weight and meaning behind the victory for ourselves because they respect our intelligence.
3. I am suddenly revealed to be the one true heir to all the thrones of Europe, inherit 100 billion dollars and never have to worry about things like baseball ever again.
At this point, I am pretty sure 3 is looking like the most possible of these options.
* I swear to God, she would actually say that shit. And if you've heard her before you know I'm not even exaggerating.
_ _ _
I question if this actually happened.
So I'm watching the Yankees swarming their way to their first World Series title since 2000, in the process once again making their fans more insufferable than Red Sox fans, and it occurs to me that I'm having a hard time rooting for the Angels to stop them. And through absolutely no fault of their own. Who do I blame? TBS. Who broadcast the Divisional Series between the Angels and Red Sox, and have given us several poignant video packages on Nick Adenhart and the effect he has had on the Angels team.
Adenhart, if you don't know, was a promising young pitcher for the Angels who was killed, along with two others, by a drunk driver earlier in the season. He was just 22 years old. (Incidentally, a fourth passenger in Adenhart's car survived, despite suffering "internal decapitation". Which I believe is the most amazing thing anyone has ever accomplished, ever.) This obviously was a very sad and traumatic experience for the team, as described during one of the Red Sox-Angels games.
During said game, the announcers in the booth threw to one of the sideline reporters who did a quick piece on how the Angels coped with Adenhart's death. He said they came together and realized they had two options. He gave the first option they considered, then the second one. The second was that they could go out and try and win a championship in Adenhart's memory. Unsurprisingly, this was the option they selected. So what was the first option? Apparently, they could go out, "play out the rest of their games, not really caring if they won or lost" and "nobody would blame them for it." Uh, yeah? Really? I am very curious if that's how that team meeting actually went.
Torii Hunter: ....so I think we should just go out there and play, like, whatever. I don't really care if we win or lose.
Jered Weaver: I agree. And I don't think anybody will blame us if we do.
Vlad Guerrero: (something in Spanish)
I mean, yeah I am sure it was very sad and disheartening and all, but did anybody seriously entertain the notion of just packing it in for the year? Or that "nobody would blame them" if they did? A franchise worth half a billion dollars, with a payroll of $113 million, playing in one of the largest media markets in the world, for fans who pay thousands of dollars for season tickets....and nobody would blame them if they just kinda played out the string for the rest of the year?
Seriously, a couple weeks of Juan Rivera slapping listlessly at pitches and Torii Hunter sighing dejectedly and jogging slowly after another line drive into the gap and the Woody Paige's of the world would be ranting and raving about how the Angels need to "cowboy up". And they would be right. And Woody Paige is never right.
So 'eff you TBS. You've made Woody Paige look correct in some alternate baseball universe and you made it hard for me to root against the Yankees. Eff you indeed.
_ _ _
Adenhart, if you don't know, was a promising young pitcher for the Angels who was killed, along with two others, by a drunk driver earlier in the season. He was just 22 years old. (Incidentally, a fourth passenger in Adenhart's car survived, despite suffering "internal decapitation". Which I believe is the most amazing thing anyone has ever accomplished, ever.) This obviously was a very sad and traumatic experience for the team, as described during one of the Red Sox-Angels games.
During said game, the announcers in the booth threw to one of the sideline reporters who did a quick piece on how the Angels coped with Adenhart's death. He said they came together and realized they had two options. He gave the first option they considered, then the second one. The second was that they could go out and try and win a championship in Adenhart's memory. Unsurprisingly, this was the option they selected. So what was the first option? Apparently, they could go out, "play out the rest of their games, not really caring if they won or lost" and "nobody would blame them for it." Uh, yeah? Really? I am very curious if that's how that team meeting actually went.
Torii Hunter: ....so I think we should just go out there and play, like, whatever. I don't really care if we win or lose.
Jered Weaver: I agree. And I don't think anybody will blame us if we do.
Vlad Guerrero: (something in Spanish)
I mean, yeah I am sure it was very sad and disheartening and all, but did anybody seriously entertain the notion of just packing it in for the year? Or that "nobody would blame them" if they did? A franchise worth half a billion dollars, with a payroll of $113 million, playing in one of the largest media markets in the world, for fans who pay thousands of dollars for season tickets....and nobody would blame them if they just kinda played out the string for the rest of the year?
Seriously, a couple weeks of Juan Rivera slapping listlessly at pitches and Torii Hunter sighing dejectedly and jogging slowly after another line drive into the gap and the Woody Paige's of the world would be ranting and raving about how the Angels need to "cowboy up". And they would be right. And Woody Paige is never right.
So 'eff you TBS. You've made Woody Paige look correct in some alternate baseball universe and you made it hard for me to root against the Yankees. Eff you indeed.
_ _ _
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Because you were all wondering
I just got off break from school, which is why I haven't posted much lately. Not because of my sheer laziness, really, I just didn't have anything to discuss. Fortunately, after two days of classes I think I might have some real good prospects for future material.
Until then, the highlight of the week-old semester may have been my American Legal Systems professor discussing an intense, pre-test study session back in college with her future husband and a male friend, who she described as "the two guys who crammed me". Hee.
_ _ _
Until then, the highlight of the week-old semester may have been my American Legal Systems professor discussing an intense, pre-test study session back in college with her future husband and a male friend, who she described as "the two guys who crammed me". Hee.
_ _ _
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Living here is nice, except for having to step over the rubble.
Hurry, rent this apartment before it falls into total decay. Come on, what the hell is happening in the kitchen there? And those closet doors don't seem to be partially open, I think they have MS.
_ _ _
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Avant Garde Floorplans?
How can I find out what the living spaces are like at Seasons on the Hill Apartments?
Ohh, that clears it up. I assume the ovals are portals that take me from one room to the next. But what could that rectangle in the upper right hand corner of the living room be? A radiator? Gun cabinet? A giant block of cheddar? (If it is, SOLD!)
- - -
Ohh, that clears it up. I assume the ovals are portals that take me from one room to the next. But what could that rectangle in the upper right hand corner of the living room be? A radiator? Gun cabinet? A giant block of cheddar? (If it is, SOLD!)
- - -
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Now let's talk about excessive force laws...
Castle Doctrine is the legal concept that when in one's own home, you are entitled to use deadly force to resist violent intrusion. Laws vary by state, but there typically has to at least be the presence of the threat of serious danger in order to use that deadly force.
Unless you're some of the people I have class with. Like criminal justice majors.
Instructor: So when is it acceptable to use deadly force in relation to the Castle Doctrine?
CJ Major: When somebody comes into your house without your permission.
Instructor: Soooo....if the neighbor kids throws his ball on your roof, and goes up to get it you could shoot him?
CJ Major: Well....yeah, I mean, you can. It's just frowned upon.
I suppose he's at least half right. Shooting kids who wander on to your property is generally "frowned upon".
_ _ _
Unless you're some of the people I have class with. Like criminal justice majors.
Instructor: So when is it acceptable to use deadly force in relation to the Castle Doctrine?
CJ Major: When somebody comes into your house without your permission.
Instructor: Soooo....if the neighbor kids throws his ball on your roof, and goes up to get it you could shoot him?
CJ Major: Well....yeah, I mean, you can. It's just frowned upon.
I suppose he's at least half right. Shooting kids who wander on to your property is generally "frowned upon".
_ _ _
Saturday, June 20, 2009
I guess it's FOX, if you want to get specific
Just checking the keyword hits from my old, old blog. In between the usual "harold dieterle gay?" and "what noise does nixon make in futurama" hits, I saw this one:
who has a group of cooks shouting yes, chef on the hit show hells kitchen?
I believe you may be thinking of the hit show, Hells Kitchen.
_ _ _
who has a group of cooks shouting yes, chef on the hit show hells kitchen?
I believe you may be thinking of the hit show, Hells Kitchen.
_ _ _
Friday, June 19, 2009
For those times I need cheering up....
If watching a midget in a gorilla suit get dropkicked into a dudes face is wrong, then damn it, I am wrong, wrong, wrong, and I love it.
This video has a horrible, hypnotic hold on me. If I see it once, I have to watch it at least twenty times through. It's a midget! In a gorilla suit! Getting kicked into somebody's face! What could possibly be more enthralling?
_ _ _
This video has a horrible, hypnotic hold on me. If I see it once, I have to watch it at least twenty times through. It's a midget! In a gorilla suit! Getting kicked into somebody's face! What could possibly be more enthralling?
_ _ _
Sometimes massage therapy majors make me cringe too
I have a Medical Terminology class I share with students in a number of other majors. (I'm the only law person in it) In this particular class, at the end of the semester you may drop your lowest homework and quiz scores from your final total. Earlier this week, while discussing the upcoming final exam, a Massage Therapy student had this to ask:
Instructor: .....so be sure to be ready for the exam on Tuesday. Questions?
MT Major: When will we pick which quiz and homework score we want dropped?
Instructor: .......Ummmmmmmmm.
It was amazing. He was just utterly gobsmacked. And I didn't even have a fellow paralegal student to exchange patronizing, smug grins with.
_ _ _
Instructor: .....so be sure to be ready for the exam on Tuesday. Questions?
MT Major: When will we pick which quiz and homework score we want dropped?
Instructor: .......Ummmmmmmmm.
It was amazing. He was just utterly gobsmacked. And I didn't even have a fellow paralegal student to exchange patronizing, smug grins with.
_ _ _
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I'm just assuming he was a CJ major
Here's a tip for any prospective college students out there, concerning class etiquette. If you're eating a foot long submarine sandwich in the middle of class, and you suddenly drop it on the floor, yell out:
"Aah, goddamn my sandwich."
The placement of the comma is crucial here. Really demand that God condemn your sandwich to an eternity of hellfire and brimstone for the sin of getting dropped on the floor by you. And make sure everybody knows it.
This tip has been brought to you by the CJ Majors I Have Class With Every Goddamn Day.
_ _ _
"Aah, goddamn my sandwich."
The placement of the comma is crucial here. Really demand that God condemn your sandwich to an eternity of hellfire and brimstone for the sin of getting dropped on the floor by you. And make sure everybody knows it.
This tip has been brought to you by the CJ Majors I Have Class With Every Goddamn Day.
_ _ _
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Yeah, it's a party now!
While listening to the radio today-
"KOOL 108! Playing the songs that make you feel good!
.....
A winters day/ In a deep and dark December...."
_ _ _
"KOOL 108! Playing the songs that make you feel good!
.....
A winters day/ In a deep and dark December...."
_ _ _
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Now THAT would be worth advertising
Ad from my Facebook feed-
Sorry there 15th Century Mayan Indian, I don't know why you're looking for me but I can't help you with your conquistador problem.
_ _ _
Sorry there 15th Century Mayan Indian, I don't know why you're looking for me but I can't help you with your conquistador problem.
_ _ _
Friday, June 5, 2009
Look, if it wasn't one, then it's the other
Legal Terminology class. Our instructor passes back a recent quiz, and begins going over the answers, starting with the True/False questions.
Instructor: OK, number one, is true. Number two, is true. Number three, is false. Number four, is false. Number five....
Girl I assume is a CJ major: Wait, wait! Stop! You're going too fast! I can't write down the answers!
_ _ _
Instructor: OK, number one, is true. Number two, is true. Number three, is false. Number four, is false. Number five....
Girl I assume is a CJ major: Wait, wait! Stop! You're going too fast! I can't write down the answers!
_ _ _
Monday, June 1, 2009
Is this topic on the syllabus?
Just to point out that yes, paralegal students sometimes say less than brilliant things during class-
During a discussion on product liability:
Instructor: Now, let's say I go into Best Buy...
Paralegal student: Oooh, good store!
Instructor: Um. Right.
And I don't mean he whispered it under his breath, as though he was so excited by hearing about Best Buy that he had to quickly remind himself how awesome the store was. No, the clear intention was "Hey everybody in class, this is my relevant opinion of Best Buy I'd like to share with you."
Why can't everyone be as flawless as me?
_ _ _
During a discussion on product liability:
Instructor: Now, let's say I go into Best Buy...
Paralegal student: Oooh, good store!
Instructor: Um. Right.
And I don't mean he whispered it under his breath, as though he was so excited by hearing about Best Buy that he had to quickly remind himself how awesome the store was. No, the clear intention was "Hey everybody in class, this is my relevant opinion of Best Buy I'd like to share with you."
Why can't everyone be as flawless as me?
_ _ _
Monday, May 25, 2009
Perhaps I would liketo meet this person
I was posting a link here on Facebook, as I am desperate for attention from my 144 friends. The validating words I had to type in to include the link? "Miss secreter".
_ _ _
_ _ _
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Up next, an expert in combing his hair!
I read the term "reality TV expert" the other day, used unironically in an article. I'm not a comedy writer, so I'm not going to try and make some hacky jokes about "How do you get to be a reality TV expert? Watching TV all the time?" jokes, but I do wonder how one gets to be a reality TV expert. Possibly by watching TV all the time?
Expertise on any subject of popular culture seems pretty fleeting to me. Even in sports. I mean, Peter Gammons is synonymous with 'baseball expert' but if you ever read his predictions, he's wrong all the time. Just like pretty much every other sports writer/talking head. Sports aren't like economics or physics, the best you can do is make an educated guess which is usually wrong. If baseball was like physics we'd all be floating off into the sky around the time the Cardinals won the 2006 World Series.
I was wondering if this kind of utter inability to predict the future also applied to "reality TV experts". Since I don't know too many, I turned to the best source I could think of, Television Without Pity. They just happened to have a relevant feature on one of the few reality shows I know anything about, Survivor. In this case, prior to the beginning of the most recent season, they assessed the odds of each individual competitors chances. Let's see how they did.
Brendan
Verdict: Sort of adorable, but his nice-guy attitude won't get him very far... no matter what kind of business savvy he may have. He needs to step it up and be more cutthroat or he'll be out early.
Odds of Winning: 50 to 1
Pretty good start! He wasn't "out early" but he did in fact prove to be insufficiently cutthroat when he let himself get voted out by the, ahem, "Warrior Alliance" while holding a hidden immunity idol. OK, not bad!
Candace
Verdict: This supposedly smart woman brought herself up from the street, got a scholarship to law school, passed the bar and then quit... to become a model. She's not long for this game at all. She'll probably flip-flop alliances and be gone before we can learn her name.
Odds of Winning: 50,000 to 1
And indeed, she was the first one from her tribe voted out. Looking good so far. According to the show she was an attorney, but as the site mentions she's a former beauty queen who quit the lawyer game to become a model. I'd like to point out that TWO other females this season were models (and they didn't even call them something else like waitress, they just called them models). So nearly half the women were "models", and a fourth was a former pop star. It also seems like every year on the The Amazing Race there is always a "model team". I'm guessing casting directors are not so much confused about the workplace makeup of America, and more interested in casting good looking media savvy people. But really, have any of these people ever been the slightest bit interesting? Every season, every show, "I'm beautiful, this food sucks, I've been eliminated".
Carolina
Verdict: She's utterly forgettable and a little too New Age-y for this game. Unless she gets with a strong alliance early on and they carry her through, she'll be gone before the merge.
Odds of Winning: 5,000 to 1
I think she was the first person voted out. Also, it says she's a bartender but I'm willing to bet she's done some "modeling" too.
Surely not a model!
Debbie
Verdict: She deals with teenagers all day, and she looks like she'd fit in on a new season of Real Housewives. She's kind of hysterical and really fun to watch, so we hope she'll go far. We hope she at least makes it until we get to see one of those handsprings.
Odds of Winning: 15 to 1
She did indeed acquit herself pretty well, finishing 6th and doing well in a number of different immunity challenges, winning once. She also became utterly loathed on the Internet, for reasons I'm not totally clear on, aside from close relationship with that one guy (which she belatedly realized was a bad idea) and the sin of having fun at 46, an age at which women should apparently just sit in a corner and knit.
Erinn
Verdict: We're bored of her already. She might stick around a while because people will forget she's there. Even she says she has no stand-out traits (though she tried to spin it as a good thing).
Odds of Winning: 1,000,000 to 1
Screw you Television Without Pity! Erinn was awesome, she finished in 3rd place and was the only one who would call that one guy out on his crap. You have no credibility with me now!
JT
Verdict: Sweetest little Southern boy ever, but there is no way he's gonna make it in this game. He sure will work hard... even though that never gets rewarded.
Odds of Winning: 100 to 1
Other than JT winning the game, never receiving a single vote in Tribal Council, getting every vote at Final Council AND winning the fan-voted $100,000, yeah this one was pretty right on.
Jerry
Verdict: We trust this man with a nuclear power plant, and he's kind of hysterical. We'd sure be afraid to vote him out. He's got all the required skills, just a matter of if the others think he's too big a threat and kick him to the curb.
Odds of Winning: 2 to 1
They probably couldn't have predicted him getting sick, but could they have predicted him pretty much just packing it in and asking to be voted out? Apparently not.
Joe
Verdict: Not especially memorable, which could allow him to fly under the radar, since he seems like he won't piss people off. He'll need to step it up in the end if he wants to win, though.
Odds of Winning: 30 to 1
They successfully predicted him being labeled "boring" failed to predict him being sent home for having a cut on his leg the size of a pencil eraser. (What? That's what I measure things in.)
Sandy
Verdict: She sure is nutty. She spent more of her interview talking about her pets than her kids and grandkids, and she contradicts herself with every other sentence that comes out of her mouth. She doesn't want to be the motherly type, but she does. We wouldn't be surprised if she was the first or second to go.
Odds of Winning: 5,000,000 to 1
I think she was like, 4th to go. At least she was a real person unlike some guy I could think of.
Sierra
Verdict: So if Sugar actually knew how to play this game? You'd probably get Sierra. Though she's still got all the flighty qualities of Sugar, she's got a little more savvy... though people may realize that Sugar-y girls aren't so sweet and be more wary of someone like her this time around.
Odds of Winning: 25 to 1
Model. Not worthy of the hatred she seemed to attract but not possessing of any particular skills or abilities either. Not sure what TWoP saw in her to rank her as that much better a pick than say, Erinn. Ability to cry and beg?
Spencer
Verdict: This young guy talks so fast that just watching him makes us exhausted, and he's already worried if he's going to be too hungry out there (teenage boys do like to eat). He seems determined and eager, but not nearly as underhanded as he needs to be to win.
Odds of Winning: 75 to 1
I guess I have to give them this one. When confronted with the possibility he might get voted out his attitude was pretty much "Maybe you could vote someone else out, but yeah, I probably deserve it."
Stephen
Verdict: His strategy seems to be similar to Ken, in that he's working the nerdy angle and is eager to get other people to do his dirty work. Which might work for a while, but if he starts losing challenges, he'll be gone.
Odds of Winning: 500 to 1
Lost plenty of challenges, including the one he most needed to win and still finished in 2nd overall.
Sydney
Verdict: Pretty blonde girl who doesn't really have a chance in hell.
Odds of Winning: 1,000 to 1
Model. Whatever.
Taj
Verdict: We already think she's got a better shot than last year's "celebrity" Crystal. She's funny and lively, and as long as she's actually able to contribute to the challenges, she'll do well. Especially if she follows the advice from her own book.
Odds of Winning: 7 to 1
I don't know what to make of Taj. She seems nice and she did better than expected but she also was clearly buckling under the stress and took her inevitable betrayal poorly. She also always seemed to be running in last/the first person out in individual challenges. Whatever, she did fine.
Tyson
Verdict: He thinks Jonny Fairplay played an excellent game, though thinks he has an advantage because he's stronger and better-looking. We hate him already. Ugh. How long did Ace and his pomposity last before he got blindsided? That's about how long we give this guy.
Odds of Winning: 100 to 1
Probably not the total jerk he came across as, it seemed like he wanted to play as an acerbic bad boy for the cameras. Lesson learned, if you're going to make yourself a huge threat don't go out of your way to put a giant bullseye on your back. Still, he provided the two best moments of the season, saying he would demand the other tribe call him "Coach" if he wound up with them and receiving the greatest motherfucking blindside in TV history. (I still watch that clip to cheer me up) The other lesson learned? Don't put your trust in a completely delusional moron. Which brings us to...
That guy
Verdict: If he can learn how to play the social aspect of this game, he should be unstoppable in challenges. As long as he makes it past the merge, he can go all the way.
Odds of Winning: 5 to 1
I'm not going to call him by his preferred moniker, because he's not a coach of anything anymore. And I won't call him by his real name, because that's my name damnit.
It's important to note the rest of his entry from this article breathlessly recounts his being attacked by a tiger shark, but makes no mention of butt eating Amazon pygmies. Now, they had him at 5 to 1, and he finished a respectable 5th. He also did fairly well in the individual challenges (after utterly dogging it in every team challenge). Well, except for the ones he opted to quit on or sit out in favor of eating pizza. But there was nothing in his totally non-fraudulent bio that could have predicted that happening, right?
In conclusion, I clearly make a better expert than the so-called "reality TV experts".
_ _ _
Expertise on any subject of popular culture seems pretty fleeting to me. Even in sports. I mean, Peter Gammons is synonymous with 'baseball expert' but if you ever read his predictions, he's wrong all the time. Just like pretty much every other sports writer/talking head. Sports aren't like economics or physics, the best you can do is make an educated guess which is usually wrong. If baseball was like physics we'd all be floating off into the sky around the time the Cardinals won the 2006 World Series.
I was wondering if this kind of utter inability to predict the future also applied to "reality TV experts". Since I don't know too many, I turned to the best source I could think of, Television Without Pity. They just happened to have a relevant feature on one of the few reality shows I know anything about, Survivor. In this case, prior to the beginning of the most recent season, they assessed the odds of each individual competitors chances. Let's see how they did.
Brendan
Verdict: Sort of adorable, but his nice-guy attitude won't get him very far... no matter what kind of business savvy he may have. He needs to step it up and be more cutthroat or he'll be out early.
Odds of Winning: 50 to 1
Pretty good start! He wasn't "out early" but he did in fact prove to be insufficiently cutthroat when he let himself get voted out by the, ahem, "Warrior Alliance" while holding a hidden immunity idol. OK, not bad!
Candace
Verdict: This supposedly smart woman brought herself up from the street, got a scholarship to law school, passed the bar and then quit... to become a model. She's not long for this game at all. She'll probably flip-flop alliances and be gone before we can learn her name.
Odds of Winning: 50,000 to 1
And indeed, she was the first one from her tribe voted out. Looking good so far. According to the show she was an attorney, but as the site mentions she's a former beauty queen who quit the lawyer game to become a model. I'd like to point out that TWO other females this season were models (and they didn't even call them something else like waitress, they just called them models). So nearly half the women were "models", and a fourth was a former pop star. It also seems like every year on the The Amazing Race there is always a "model team". I'm guessing casting directors are not so much confused about the workplace makeup of America, and more interested in casting good looking media savvy people. But really, have any of these people ever been the slightest bit interesting? Every season, every show, "I'm beautiful, this food sucks, I've been eliminated".
Carolina
Verdict: She's utterly forgettable and a little too New Age-y for this game. Unless she gets with a strong alliance early on and they carry her through, she'll be gone before the merge.
Odds of Winning: 5,000 to 1
I think she was the first person voted out. Also, it says she's a bartender but I'm willing to bet she's done some "modeling" too.
Surely not a model!Debbie
Verdict: She deals with teenagers all day, and she looks like she'd fit in on a new season of Real Housewives. She's kind of hysterical and really fun to watch, so we hope she'll go far. We hope she at least makes it until we get to see one of those handsprings.
Odds of Winning: 15 to 1
She did indeed acquit herself pretty well, finishing 6th and doing well in a number of different immunity challenges, winning once. She also became utterly loathed on the Internet, for reasons I'm not totally clear on, aside from close relationship with that one guy (which she belatedly realized was a bad idea) and the sin of having fun at 46, an age at which women should apparently just sit in a corner and knit.
Erinn
Verdict: We're bored of her already. She might stick around a while because people will forget she's there. Even she says she has no stand-out traits (though she tried to spin it as a good thing).
Odds of Winning: 1,000,000 to 1
Screw you Television Without Pity! Erinn was awesome, she finished in 3rd place and was the only one who would call that one guy out on his crap. You have no credibility with me now!
JT
Verdict: Sweetest little Southern boy ever, but there is no way he's gonna make it in this game. He sure will work hard... even though that never gets rewarded.
Odds of Winning: 100 to 1
Other than JT winning the game, never receiving a single vote in Tribal Council, getting every vote at Final Council AND winning the fan-voted $100,000, yeah this one was pretty right on.
Jerry
Verdict: We trust this man with a nuclear power plant, and he's kind of hysterical. We'd sure be afraid to vote him out. He's got all the required skills, just a matter of if the others think he's too big a threat and kick him to the curb.
Odds of Winning: 2 to 1
They probably couldn't have predicted him getting sick, but could they have predicted him pretty much just packing it in and asking to be voted out? Apparently not.
Joe
Verdict: Not especially memorable, which could allow him to fly under the radar, since he seems like he won't piss people off. He'll need to step it up in the end if he wants to win, though.
Odds of Winning: 30 to 1
They successfully predicted him being labeled "boring" failed to predict him being sent home for having a cut on his leg the size of a pencil eraser. (What? That's what I measure things in.)
Sandy
Verdict: She sure is nutty. She spent more of her interview talking about her pets than her kids and grandkids, and she contradicts herself with every other sentence that comes out of her mouth. She doesn't want to be the motherly type, but she does. We wouldn't be surprised if she was the first or second to go.
Odds of Winning: 5,000,000 to 1
I think she was like, 4th to go. At least she was a real person unlike some guy I could think of.
Sierra
Verdict: So if Sugar actually knew how to play this game? You'd probably get Sierra. Though she's still got all the flighty qualities of Sugar, she's got a little more savvy... though people may realize that Sugar-y girls aren't so sweet and be more wary of someone like her this time around.
Odds of Winning: 25 to 1
Model. Not worthy of the hatred she seemed to attract but not possessing of any particular skills or abilities either. Not sure what TWoP saw in her to rank her as that much better a pick than say, Erinn. Ability to cry and beg?
Spencer
Verdict: This young guy talks so fast that just watching him makes us exhausted, and he's already worried if he's going to be too hungry out there (teenage boys do like to eat). He seems determined and eager, but not nearly as underhanded as he needs to be to win.
Odds of Winning: 75 to 1
I guess I have to give them this one. When confronted with the possibility he might get voted out his attitude was pretty much "Maybe you could vote someone else out, but yeah, I probably deserve it."
Stephen
Verdict: His strategy seems to be similar to Ken, in that he's working the nerdy angle and is eager to get other people to do his dirty work. Which might work for a while, but if he starts losing challenges, he'll be gone.
Odds of Winning: 500 to 1
Lost plenty of challenges, including the one he most needed to win and still finished in 2nd overall.
Sydney
Verdict: Pretty blonde girl who doesn't really have a chance in hell.
Odds of Winning: 1,000 to 1
Model. Whatever.
Taj
Verdict: We already think she's got a better shot than last year's "celebrity" Crystal. She's funny and lively, and as long as she's actually able to contribute to the challenges, she'll do well. Especially if she follows the advice from her own book.
Odds of Winning: 7 to 1
I don't know what to make of Taj. She seems nice and she did better than expected but she also was clearly buckling under the stress and took her inevitable betrayal poorly. She also always seemed to be running in last/the first person out in individual challenges. Whatever, she did fine.
Tyson
Verdict: He thinks Jonny Fairplay played an excellent game, though thinks he has an advantage because he's stronger and better-looking. We hate him already. Ugh. How long did Ace and his pomposity last before he got blindsided? That's about how long we give this guy.
Odds of Winning: 100 to 1
Probably not the total jerk he came across as, it seemed like he wanted to play as an acerbic bad boy for the cameras. Lesson learned, if you're going to make yourself a huge threat don't go out of your way to put a giant bullseye on your back. Still, he provided the two best moments of the season, saying he would demand the other tribe call him "Coach" if he wound up with them and receiving the greatest motherfucking blindside in TV history. (I still watch that clip to cheer me up) The other lesson learned? Don't put your trust in a completely delusional moron. Which brings us to...
That guy
Verdict: If he can learn how to play the social aspect of this game, he should be unstoppable in challenges. As long as he makes it past the merge, he can go all the way.
Odds of Winning: 5 to 1
I'm not going to call him by his preferred moniker, because he's not a coach of anything anymore. And I won't call him by his real name, because that's my name damnit.
It's important to note the rest of his entry from this article breathlessly recounts his being attacked by a tiger shark, but makes no mention of butt eating Amazon pygmies. Now, they had him at 5 to 1, and he finished a respectable 5th. He also did fairly well in the individual challenges (after utterly dogging it in every team challenge). Well, except for the ones he opted to quit on or sit out in favor of eating pizza. But there was nothing in his totally non-fraudulent bio that could have predicted that happening, right?
In conclusion, I clearly make a better expert than the so-called "reality TV experts".
_ _ _
Saturday, May 23, 2009
It makes you sound more "law talky"
Here's a tip for CJ and paralegal majors alike. When you want to raise a point during a class discussion, it will go roughly 1,700% better if you don't begin it with "Nuh uh".
For example, try:
"Isn't it true that issuing a threat of bodily harm towards someone can constitute assault?"
As opposed to:
"Nuh uh, 'cause this one time my ex was like "Bitch, you crazy" so I charged him with assault and he's still locked up behind that shit."
In unrelated news, one of my favorite CJ majors expressed a preference for going into the State Patrol. Why?
"Because you have to do less training. Well, not less training, but you don't have to do as much."
Later in the class, we (and by 'we' I mean everyone including the instructor) were giving him tips on weaseling out of his inevitable first wrongful shooting. My advice, make sure to put lots of masking tape on the handle of the gun you plant to avoid leaving prints!
_ _ _
For example, try:
"Isn't it true that issuing a threat of bodily harm towards someone can constitute assault?"
As opposed to:
"Nuh uh, 'cause this one time my ex was like "Bitch, you crazy" so I charged him with assault and he's still locked up behind that shit."
In unrelated news, one of my favorite CJ majors expressed a preference for going into the State Patrol. Why?
"Because you have to do less training. Well, not less training, but you don't have to do as much."
Later in the class, we (and by 'we' I mean everyone including the instructor) were giving him tips on weaseling out of his inevitable first wrongful shooting. My advice, make sure to put lots of masking tape on the handle of the gun you plant to avoid leaving prints!
_ _ _
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
You'll never save Grandpa's farm, I mean join the force with that attitude!
Last week I was pretty sure I bombed the Westlaw portion of my Legal Research midterm. Tuesday I was pleasantly surprised to find out I got a 15/20 on it. Combined with my 54/57 on the written and 15/15 on the library portion, I ended up scoring a 91 percent overall. *pats self on back*
Not everyone did as well though. As the ramped up on testosterone and energy drinks Criminal Justice major next to me said to our instructor, while explaining why he left one question blank, "I was looking at that damn thing for like, five minutes, but I knew I wasn't gonna get it, so piss on it." Then he turned around and said the exact same thing to the guy sitting behind him. I imagine he repeated the phrase 5 or 6 more times throughout the day.
_ _ _
Not everyone did as well though. As the ramped up on testosterone and energy drinks Criminal Justice major next to me said to our instructor, while explaining why he left one question blank, "I was looking at that damn thing for like, five minutes, but I knew I wasn't gonna get it, so piss on it." Then he turned around and said the exact same thing to the guy sitting behind him. I imagine he repeated the phrase 5 or 6 more times throughout the day.
_ _ _
Friday, May 15, 2009
That is not what entrapment is
During a class discussion on entrapment-
Instructor: ....and that's why police aren't allowed to...
Criminal Justice Major: You know it's like, entrapment, if the cops wait outside a bar to give people DUI's!
Instructor: Well no, it's not really...
CJM: Yeah it is, because like, they're waiting for you to commit a crime!
Me: But you're going to commit the crime whether they are there or not. That's just smart policing.
CJM: Yeah it is, because like.....they're trapping you.
Me: ....................Yeah, you're probably right.
_ _ _
Instructor: ....and that's why police aren't allowed to...
Criminal Justice Major: You know it's like, entrapment, if the cops wait outside a bar to give people DUI's!
Instructor: Well no, it's not really...
CJM: Yeah it is, because like, they're waiting for you to commit a crime!
Me: But you're going to commit the crime whether they are there or not. That's just smart policing.
CJM: Yeah it is, because like.....they're trapping you.
Me: ....................Yeah, you're probably right.
_ _ _
Saturday, May 9, 2009
My unabashed love of Criminal Justice majors
During a discussion on homicide and reasonable self defense-
Instructor: ....so you can only defend yourself in a manner that is appropriate to th-
Ultra-manly CJ major: Dude, it's like, a guy can be raping a girl, and she could fight back, and like scratch his eye, and blind him, and he could totally sue her for that! It's so messed up!
Class: .........
Me: Nnnnooooooooo....
(Although as my instructor is fond of saying, anybody can sue anyone at any time for anything. It's just a question of whether they would win or not. I'm assuming this guy meant the rapist would win that case. Also, this is not the same guy who asked about someone raping his wife when he only paid to have her beat up. Apparently all the CJ majors are just really rape-happy.)
Instructor: ....so you can only defend yourself in a manner that is appropriate to th-
Ultra-manly CJ major: Dude, it's like, a guy can be raping a girl, and she could fight back, and like scratch his eye, and blind him, and he could totally sue her for that! It's so messed up!
Class: .........
Me: Nnnnooooooooo....
(Although as my instructor is fond of saying, anybody can sue anyone at any time for anything. It's just a question of whether they would win or not. I'm assuming this guy meant the rapist would win that case. Also, this is not the same guy who asked about someone raping his wife when he only paid to have her beat up. Apparently all the CJ majors are just really rape-happy.)
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Yeah, what if?
During a discussion on criminal conspiracies, the culpability of accomplices and the like, the following exchange took place.
Instructor: So if you hire someone to rob a bank and provide a gun for them to do so, and in the process they kill a guard, you could be found guilty of murder, even though you weren't there because....
Guy who sits at the back of the room: *hand shoots up* What if I hire someone to beat up my wife and he rapes her instead?
Class: ..........
Me: Yeah, what if that happens?
Instructor: So if you hire someone to rob a bank and provide a gun for them to do so, and in the process they kill a guard, you could be found guilty of murder, even though you weren't there because....
Guy who sits at the back of the room: *hand shoots up* What if I hire someone to beat up my wife and he rapes her instead?
Class: ..........
Me: Yeah, what if that happens?
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Floor plan by Timmy, age 6
Not so sure if I'll be checking in to this particular apartment, as among other things, there definitely appears to be something wrong with the kitchen. The stove (I think) is collapsing in on itself, the cabinet(?) next to is bulging out, and whatever the hell it is that's next to that seems to be rolling it's eyes in exasperation at the whole affair.
Also the toilet has a tumor.
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