Finally, a site on the Internet where somebody complains about things! Usually the fact that criminal justice majors make me cringe.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Now let's talk about excessive force laws...

Castle Doctrine is the legal concept that when in one's own home, you are entitled to use deadly force to resist violent intrusion. Laws vary by state, but there typically has to at least be the presence of the threat of serious danger in order to use that deadly force.

Unless you're some of the people I have class with. Like criminal justice majors.

Instructor: So when is it acceptable to use deadly force in relation to the Castle Doctrine?

CJ Major: When somebody comes into your house without your permission.

Instructor: Soooo....if the neighbor kids throws his ball on your roof, and goes up to get it you could shoot him?

CJ Major: Well....yeah, I mean, you can. It's just frowned upon.

I suppose he's at least half right. Shooting kids who wander on to your property is generally "frowned upon".

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Saturday, June 20, 2009

I guess it's FOX, if you want to get specific

Just checking the keyword hits from my old, old blog. In between the usual "harold dieterle gay?" and "what noise does nixon make in futurama" hits, I saw this one:

who has a group of cooks shouting yes, chef on the hit show hells kitchen?

I believe you may be thinking of the hit show, Hells Kitchen.

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Friday, June 19, 2009

For those times I need cheering up....

If watching a midget in a gorilla suit get dropkicked into a dudes face is wrong, then damn it, I am wrong, wrong, wrong, and I love it.

This video has a horrible, hypnotic hold on me. If I see it once, I have to watch it at least twenty times through. It's a midget! In a gorilla suit! Getting kicked into somebody's face! What could possibly be more enthralling?

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Sometimes massage therapy majors make me cringe too

I have a Medical Terminology class I share with students in a number of other majors. (I'm the only law person in it) In this particular class, at the end of the semester you may drop your lowest homework and quiz scores from your final total. Earlier this week, while discussing the upcoming final exam, a Massage Therapy student had this to ask:

Instructor: be sure to be ready for the exam on Tuesday. Questions?

MT Major: When will we pick which quiz and homework score we want dropped?

Instructor: .......Ummmmmmmmm.

It was amazing. He was just utterly gobsmacked. And I didn't even have a fellow paralegal student to exchange patronizing, smug grins with.

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Thursday, June 11, 2009

I'm just assuming he was a CJ major

Here's a tip for any prospective college students out there, concerning class etiquette. If you're eating a foot long submarine sandwich in the middle of class, and you suddenly drop it on the floor, yell out:

"Aah, goddamn my sandwich."

The placement of the comma is crucial here. Really demand that God condemn your sandwich to an eternity of hellfire and brimstone for the sin of getting dropped on the floor by you. And make sure everybody knows it.

This tip has been brought to you by the CJ Majors I Have Class With Every Goddamn Day.

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Sunday, June 7, 2009

Yeah, it's a party now!

While listening to the radio today-

"KOOL 108! Playing the songs that make you feel good!


A winters day/ In a deep and dark December...."

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Saturday, June 6, 2009

Now THAT would be worth advertising

Ad from my Facebook feed-

Sorry there 15th Century Mayan Indian, I don't know why you're looking for me but I can't help you with your conquistador problem.

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Friday, June 5, 2009

Look, if it wasn't one, then it's the other

Legal Terminology class. Our instructor passes back a recent quiz, and begins going over the answers, starting with the True/False questions.

Instructor: OK, number one, is true. Number two, is true. Number three, is false. Number four, is false. Number five....

Girl I assume is a CJ major: Wait, wait! Stop! You're going too fast! I can't write down the answers!

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Monday, June 1, 2009

Is this topic on the syllabus?

Just to point out that yes, paralegal students sometimes say less than brilliant things during class-

During a discussion on product liability:

Instructor: Now, let's say I go into Best Buy...

Paralegal student: Oooh, good store!

Instructor: Um. Right.

And I don't mean he whispered it under his breath, as though he was so excited by hearing about Best Buy that he had to quickly remind himself how awesome the store was. No, the clear intention was "Hey everybody in class, this is my relevant opinion of Best Buy I'd like to share with you."

Why can't everyone be as flawless as me?

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About Me

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Paralegal studies and a goldfish attention span are not a good mix.