Castle Doctrine is the legal concept that when in one's own home, you are entitled to use deadly force to resist violent intrusion. Laws vary by state, but there typically has to at least be the presence of the threat of serious danger in order to use that deadly force.
Unless you're some of the people I have class with. Like criminal justice majors.
Instructor: So when is it acceptable to use deadly force in relation to the Castle Doctrine?
CJ Major: When somebody comes into your house without your permission.
Instructor: Soooo....if the neighbor kids throws his ball on your roof, and goes up to get it you could shoot him?
CJ Major: Well....yeah, I mean, you can. It's just frowned upon.
I suppose he's at least half right. Shooting kids who wander on to your property is generally "frowned upon".
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Showing posts with label The future face of law enforcement in this country. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The future face of law enforcement in this country. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I'm just assuming he was a CJ major
Here's a tip for any prospective college students out there, concerning class etiquette. If you're eating a foot long submarine sandwich in the middle of class, and you suddenly drop it on the floor, yell out:
"Aah, goddamn my sandwich."
The placement of the comma is crucial here. Really demand that God condemn your sandwich to an eternity of hellfire and brimstone for the sin of getting dropped on the floor by you. And make sure everybody knows it.
This tip has been brought to you by the CJ Majors I Have Class With Every Goddamn Day.
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"Aah, goddamn my sandwich."
The placement of the comma is crucial here. Really demand that God condemn your sandwich to an eternity of hellfire and brimstone for the sin of getting dropped on the floor by you. And make sure everybody knows it.
This tip has been brought to you by the CJ Majors I Have Class With Every Goddamn Day.
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Friday, June 5, 2009
Look, if it wasn't one, then it's the other
Legal Terminology class. Our instructor passes back a recent quiz, and begins going over the answers, starting with the True/False questions.
Instructor: OK, number one, is true. Number two, is true. Number three, is false. Number four, is false. Number five....
Girl I assume is a CJ major: Wait, wait! Stop! You're going too fast! I can't write down the answers!
_ _ _
Instructor: OK, number one, is true. Number two, is true. Number three, is false. Number four, is false. Number five....
Girl I assume is a CJ major: Wait, wait! Stop! You're going too fast! I can't write down the answers!
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Saturday, May 23, 2009
It makes you sound more "law talky"
Here's a tip for CJ and paralegal majors alike. When you want to raise a point during a class discussion, it will go roughly 1,700% better if you don't begin it with "Nuh uh".
For example, try:
"Isn't it true that issuing a threat of bodily harm towards someone can constitute assault?"
As opposed to:
"Nuh uh, 'cause this one time my ex was like "Bitch, you crazy" so I charged him with assault and he's still locked up behind that shit."
In unrelated news, one of my favorite CJ majors expressed a preference for going into the State Patrol. Why?
"Because you have to do less training. Well, not less training, but you don't have to do as much."
Later in the class, we (and by 'we' I mean everyone including the instructor) were giving him tips on weaseling out of his inevitable first wrongful shooting. My advice, make sure to put lots of masking tape on the handle of the gun you plant to avoid leaving prints!
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For example, try:
"Isn't it true that issuing a threat of bodily harm towards someone can constitute assault?"
As opposed to:
"Nuh uh, 'cause this one time my ex was like "Bitch, you crazy" so I charged him with assault and he's still locked up behind that shit."
In unrelated news, one of my favorite CJ majors expressed a preference for going into the State Patrol. Why?
"Because you have to do less training. Well, not less training, but you don't have to do as much."
Later in the class, we (and by 'we' I mean everyone including the instructor) were giving him tips on weaseling out of his inevitable first wrongful shooting. My advice, make sure to put lots of masking tape on the handle of the gun you plant to avoid leaving prints!
_ _ _
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
You'll never save Grandpa's farm, I mean join the force with that attitude!
Last week I was pretty sure I bombed the Westlaw portion of my Legal Research midterm. Tuesday I was pleasantly surprised to find out I got a 15/20 on it. Combined with my 54/57 on the written and 15/15 on the library portion, I ended up scoring a 91 percent overall. *pats self on back*
Not everyone did as well though. As the ramped up on testosterone and energy drinks Criminal Justice major next to me said to our instructor, while explaining why he left one question blank, "I was looking at that damn thing for like, five minutes, but I knew I wasn't gonna get it, so piss on it." Then he turned around and said the exact same thing to the guy sitting behind him. I imagine he repeated the phrase 5 or 6 more times throughout the day.
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Not everyone did as well though. As the ramped up on testosterone and energy drinks Criminal Justice major next to me said to our instructor, while explaining why he left one question blank, "I was looking at that damn thing for like, five minutes, but I knew I wasn't gonna get it, so piss on it." Then he turned around and said the exact same thing to the guy sitting behind him. I imagine he repeated the phrase 5 or 6 more times throughout the day.
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Friday, May 15, 2009
That is not what entrapment is
During a class discussion on entrapment-
Instructor: ....and that's why police aren't allowed to...
Criminal Justice Major: You know it's like, entrapment, if the cops wait outside a bar to give people DUI's!
Instructor: Well no, it's not really...
CJM: Yeah it is, because like, they're waiting for you to commit a crime!
Me: But you're going to commit the crime whether they are there or not. That's just smart policing.
CJM: Yeah it is, because like.....they're trapping you.
Me: ....................Yeah, you're probably right.
_ _ _
Instructor: ....and that's why police aren't allowed to...
Criminal Justice Major: You know it's like, entrapment, if the cops wait outside a bar to give people DUI's!
Instructor: Well no, it's not really...
CJM: Yeah it is, because like, they're waiting for you to commit a crime!
Me: But you're going to commit the crime whether they are there or not. That's just smart policing.
CJM: Yeah it is, because like.....they're trapping you.
Me: ....................Yeah, you're probably right.
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Saturday, May 9, 2009
My unabashed love of Criminal Justice majors
During a discussion on homicide and reasonable self defense-
Instructor: ....so you can only defend yourself in a manner that is appropriate to th-
Ultra-manly CJ major: Dude, it's like, a guy can be raping a girl, and she could fight back, and like scratch his eye, and blind him, and he could totally sue her for that! It's so messed up!
Class: .........
Me: Nnnnooooooooo....
(Although as my instructor is fond of saying, anybody can sue anyone at any time for anything. It's just a question of whether they would win or not. I'm assuming this guy meant the rapist would win that case. Also, this is not the same guy who asked about someone raping his wife when he only paid to have her beat up. Apparently all the CJ majors are just really rape-happy.)
Instructor: ....so you can only defend yourself in a manner that is appropriate to th-
Ultra-manly CJ major: Dude, it's like, a guy can be raping a girl, and she could fight back, and like scratch his eye, and blind him, and he could totally sue her for that! It's so messed up!
Class: .........
Me: Nnnnooooooooo....
(Although as my instructor is fond of saying, anybody can sue anyone at any time for anything. It's just a question of whether they would win or not. I'm assuming this guy meant the rapist would win that case. Also, this is not the same guy who asked about someone raping his wife when he only paid to have her beat up. Apparently all the CJ majors are just really rape-happy.)
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