Finally, a site on the Internet where somebody complains about things! Usually the fact that criminal justice majors make me cringe.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Not Tim Lincecum!

In the least surprising baseball news since "Goddam Fucking Yankees Win Another World Series" Tim Lincecum has apparently been caught smoking pot.


According to reports, Lincecum was busted for possession while driving-

An officer approached Lincecum's 2006 Mercedes and smelled marijuana as the pitcher rolled down his window. Schatzel said Lincecum immediately complied with a request to hand over the drug and a marijuana pipe from the car's center console.

For me, the most surprising part of this whole story is that Tim Lincecum drives a 2006 Mercedes. You would think the best left handed pitcher in baseball (to hell with Johann Santana, the dirty, New York-going to traitor) could afford to drive a 2010. I mean, he even did that one commercial, for that one video game.

The best part of the story though is the police spokesman describing how much pot he was caught with-

"It's not really out of the ordinary. It happens every day," Schatzel said of the volume of marijuana Lincecum handed over. "It was about the size of a thumb, the whole thumb."

That is a beautiful description. In every drug bust story from now on, I want the police to use body part comparisons to say how much contraband they seized.

"The FBI today raided an abandoned warehouse in Fresno, breaking up a major drug smuggling operation. A spokesman for the Bureau said they seized "at least sixteen legs of heroin. Whole legs, mind you."

_ _ _

No comments:

About Me

My photo
Paralegal studies and a goldfish attention span are not a good mix.